Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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