You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
