he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
