He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
