oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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