Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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