Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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