break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
