So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
