I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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