I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
