when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize