I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So much rum. So many feels.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i think i just lost a toe
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
