But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
