erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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