I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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