There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
