I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
