So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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