u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
