Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
