matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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