drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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