I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
