apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just found a bag of teeth...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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