it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
