i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
