This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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