Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
