maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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