it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
