oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
