I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
