six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
