Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
