We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
