would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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