he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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