just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
