But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
