I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
