my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
