Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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