I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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