you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
