is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
