I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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