is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
