I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
