I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
