hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize