Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
