I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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