ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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