i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
cat food counts as protein by the way
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
