Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
