It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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