Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize