you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You made out with two different species that night
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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