R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
