so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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