Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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