After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
