adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
