Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I need water and some morals
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
