so that wasnt chicken after all
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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