i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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