hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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