Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
