Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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