my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
