My sheets look like a crime scene.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
