I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
