is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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