You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
