I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
