what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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