did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
