It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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