I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
