Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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