it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
