Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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